


Delivery Request

by amine



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M, Terrible Customer Service, pizza delivery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 21:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12093435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amine/pseuds/amine
Summary: "After seeing enough pictures on the internet of people putting silly requests on their pizza orders and having them fulfilled, Alfred decided he would try it out for himself. The next time he ordered pizza for himself and his brother, he entered his request into the delivery options.'Send the guy with the worst customer service skills.'"





	Delivery Request

**Author's Note:**

> They're both dicks in this, which is fun to write. :')

After seeing enough pictures on the internet of people putting silly requests on their pizza orders and having them fulfilled, Alfred decided he would try it out for himself. The next time he ordered pizza for himself and his brother, he entered his request into the delivery options.

“Send the guy with the worst customer service skills.”

It was a long shot, since he was fairly certain that went against everything that every customer service job stood for, but he wanted his own silly request anecdote.

When the doorbell rang, Alfred sprang up, excited to see if his request was fulfilled, or if he’d have the usual friendly delivery person.

When he opened the door, he was greeted with a man with enormous eyebrows furrowed together into the most irritated looking scowl he’d ever seen on a person.

“I suppose you think you’re cute with that request. I was pulled out of the kitchen for this.” He shoved the pizza into Alfred’s gut, giving Alfred only a split second to grab it before he let go of it. “You owe me $42.87. Really, who orders that many toppings on a pizza?”

“Ha ha, you really _do_ have shitty customer service skills, don’t you? Anyway, here. Keep the change.”

He handed over a few bills, which the man counted with a scowl.

“Oh, wow. Barely a $2 tip on a $40 order. Your generosity is astounding. I hope you choke on all that sausage.”

The man left before Alfred could respond, but as he stood there holding his pizza and watching the man drive over his lawn to leave, he couldn’t help but laugh.

* * *

Alfred was all too happy to post his pizza delivery request story to the internet and laugh along with the people reading it, but as time passed, he kept thinking about that encounter. Hilarious as it was, that delivery man was actually pretty cute in his prickliness. Sometimes he really needed a laugh like that.

Naturally, the next time he ordered a pizza, he added another request.

“Send that grumpy guy again.”

That time the doorbell was repeatedly rung over and over, and it was with great anticipation that Alfred opened the door to find the same man standing there looking even more irritated than he had the previous time.

“Oh, bloody hell, it really is you again.”

“Yep, me again. I’ve even got a better tip for you this time, too.”

“I’m quivering with anticipation.”

“Yep, it’s this: Get a better job.” Alfred grinned as he handed over the proper payment.

The man snatched the money out of his hand and flipped him off before stomping away. Alfred was certain that the way the man drove over his flower bed as he sped away was intentional, but once again he was too busy laughing to care.

He certainly was cute, though.

Admittedly, Alfred was being a huge jerk when he decided to continue requesting the grumpy man as his delivery driver, but having a cute guy who didn’t even pretend to be polite made the whole thing completely worth it. At one point when he called in his order and made his request, he learned that the grumpy delivery man was named Arthur. Arthur, for his part, grew even more and more irritated and eventually didn’t even bother to filter his language.

Alfred eventually decided it was time to end the charade, and he entered his delivery request in one last time.

When Alfred opened the door, Arthur looked practically murderous.

“I’m certain this counts as harassment.”

“Ha ha, but you still keep coming anyway.”

“Some of us value having a job.”

He shoved the pizza box into Alfred’s waiting hands, but Alfred just set it inside the door before leaning against the doorframe.

“Hmm…I think it’s something else, so this time I really do have a great tip for you.”

“If it’s more inane advice then don’t even bother—”

“Nah, I want you to go out with me.”

Arthur froze, and, for the first time ever, his scowl faded. As he stared dumbfounded at Alfred, Alfred shrugged and grinned.

“I mean, maybe you’re straight, so you can just say no and I’ll stop bugging you, but you’re really cute and you make me laugh and I feel like we’ve basically been flirting this whole time, so I want to go on a date with you.”

Arthur continued to stare at him, but finally his scowl began to return. He shook his head and scoffed.

“That might be even stupider than the advice you’ve given me.”

Despite his bluster, Arthur agreed anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> If you prefer Tumblr as a format, I'm posting stuff there, too. [Delinquent AU only](http://delinquentaufics.tumblr.com/) and [general USUK](https://usukfics.tumblr.com/).


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